Sugar Shack 20: Exile Contact Missions: The Auditor: Spare Me!
Some Exiles run by whim, like Pepper. Others have some personal passion, like The Chef. Other seem to have no soul at all, and indeed, they would make better machines than Exiles. The immensely intense, immensely shallow Auditor is one of the latter. This steely-eyed, grey-haired, drably-dressed Exile may be found at the lonely foot of a stairway at Union Hill, at 203, 1, 711. There he stares forward into space, waiting for someone to do his bidding. He has little to recommend him in the personality or charm department, and as a result he keeps emphasizing how important his work is, and how the whole Matrix could come crashing down if you don’t help him. Like you’ve never heard this before!
1. By the Numbers
The Auditor apparently concerns himself with the flow of resources and their management in the Matrix. That is to say, he takes the exciting and makes it dull. His first mish is no exception: “The numbers are all I care about. Everything else is just static in the Matrix….Here’s the address. Get moving.” How personable! Just get and upload two disks from a single location. How could it be simpler?
2. Throwing a Disk
To better understand discrepancies in the matrix, he needs more data. Go get two more disks. There are some fights, and you need the help of a bluepill to get what you want. But that’s it. It’s all he can imagine. You know the type: “everything that counts can be counted, and if it can’t be counted then it doesn’t count”.
3. For a Few Disks More
There “could be a major system resource leak. This leak could turn into a flood if action is not taken. I just need one more data point to make my final determination. Go get it for me”.
By this point I was wondering if this was really an auditor, or just a small time nut trying to inflate his own self-importance. But he did pay his bills.
You have to rescue some bluepill’s girlfriend before he will give you the data you need. This is maddeningly difficult, because when you are escorting the bluepill, you are subject to one major NPC attack, which you expect, but also from random gang members and even security guards. This is best done with friends, since one stray ricochet instantly brings down the woman and aborts the mission. It took me seven attempts to get this done, and I only completed it at all thanks to the awesome help of Sattakan, who cleared away the lobby guards, spontaneous attacks, and three groups of gangmembers. I had to escort the frail girlfriend almost 400 meters through all these threats.
4. Resource Management
For some peculiar reason, The Auditor has assets, and they are under attack. You arrive in time to find many bluepills slain, and data taken. One bluepill gasps, “The data…save the data” and then falls to the floor; apparently the Auditor found people of a like frame of mind to work with him.
5. Stop the Leak
The leak, it turns out, is no accident; someone is creating the discrepancy for his own purposes. “I cannot allow this.” For this final mish, you need an artifact from the Sculptress. Well, three, actually. They must be given to three people for the full effect. The first delivery is a snap. In the second one, you have to fight your way in, with some Merv allies. However these “allies” are worthless, and do nothing to hinder those who would kill you. Several times they walked right past me during fights! The third one features a red herring, and a slightly more serviceable ally. The most notable part is that the third recipient of these statues stands with one foot in a wastebasket, oblivious! No wonder the Matrix is in danger!
In the end, you get some thanks, and that is about it. Not much considering you have saved the Matrix! The malefactor behind the scheme remains a mystery. Perhaps a future installment will see you bringing the fight to him/her. It’s the perfect tie in for some story-line events later. Perhaps some mad Zionists are seeking to destabilize the whole matrix…oh, wait, that’s already been done, right?
Summing up, the Auditor is weak in the personality, wit, and charm department. His missions reflect his personality. Who would have thought that saving the whole matrix could seem like such a tedious chore?
