The Seamstress, one of the more sedate, less abrasive Exiles, may be found in Saikung, at 408. -10. -242. She is near the T-intersection, She wears that classic flat black gi, with Agent Pace hair and dark eyes. Tragically, the white boots spoil the effect, and really, she should know better. She seemed serene but watchful on the corner, under a red, un-Sati-ed sky, as twitchy pigeons picked at bits of dried rice on the ground. To either side, books were arranged temptingly on tables, idle pages adrift in the faint breeze. Further off, some Gold Bloods idled, perhaps awaiting their afternoon hsiu-hsi break. A bystander advised me to go see the pandas at the city zoo. “They’re cute!”.
1. Dressed for Success
“Why don’t you just look previous!” she gushed when I got her attention, immediately following with “Could use a little change in your wardrobe though”. After my icy silence, she sighed and explained that she needed a package of fabric picked up and delivered but is short on help. This first part is simple; traipse over and talk to one Gayle Clark. Gayle laments the delay and in convenience in a very, umm, unmanly way, and gives you a key to unlock the room holding it. An unexpected Elite Guard inside challenges you; apparently his crew has stolen the material. Clark panics and begs you to retrieve it. “All new designs” he wails.
The second location is entertaining. Full of Elite Guards, all of whom loudly deny any knowledge of the package. They’ve never heard of it. They think I’m in the wrong address, etc. It reminded me of one of the Jeweler’s missions! Finally, of all people, a Merovingian Physician angrily denies any knowledge, and becomes incensed that your doubt her integrity as you nonetheless search the room. The packages falls to the ground, at which point she denies that is the one you were looking for. Nope, no package there! Fortunately, I could just pick it up and leave amid a whirlwind of abuse and bullets; I had worried I would have to fight my way out!
Finally, I dropped off the now-complete package. A Blood Noble kept chasing me on the way, but I ignored him. The recipient is in an office building; make sure to talk to each bluepill; they all have something to say! The final recipient of the package- Cretin Cravenus? Cletus Clavikus?- is in a hurry for you to go. I guess all the guns freaked him out. Not to mention the ghastly colors and styles of the buffed clothes we all wear. Seamstress calls me a doll and pays me in cash! This almost made up for her smarmy dig about my outfit at the outset!
Oddities: What’s so special about the fabric that people are willing to kill for it? Why would a Merovingian Physician have the slightest interest in this?
More oddities: When I approached her for a second mission, she gave me the same one again! What, does this type of thing happen all the time for her?
2. Demanding the Supply
This second mish is fairly easy. The Seamstress has been plagued by “rogues and cut-throats”, and needs you to make sure one particular shipment is delivered correctly and completely. Picking up the material is a breeze, and your client phones you to say she hopes you aren’t “ambushed and brutally beaten”, like the last one. Well, that makes two of us!
When you arrive at the office of the shipment’s recipient, she demurs to accept it until you have cleared out the lurking thugs. They’re a few blood drunks and a couple of elite guards.
The Seamstress adds, at the end, “Remind me to reward you one of these days”. Sure thing, hun. That’s what they all say!
3. Accessory to Murder
Besides high-end fashion, the Seamstress also provides a wide range of accessories, including purses!! Alas, the courier has been waylaid and requires rescue. In this mission, you must first rescue the waylaid courier, named Duboshin, and escort her to the original intended recipient of the shipment. Oh, and get the shipment, too, no small feat when one elite guard sneers, “You ain’t getting this purse back!”. But a woman will do anything for accessories, and soon the prize was in my awed grasp. I took an immediate liking to Duboshin, when unbidden, she gave me some health boosts before fights. My kind of courier! And her level was decent enough that random street mobs did not take her down while I brought her to the customer. A good thing, that.
However, not all was as well as I had expected, as I should have known when I saw the customer hanging out with blood nobles, who, as you may have noticed, seldom affect an interest in high-end fashion. I mean, just look at them. So, as soon as they have the purse, they all set upon me! Like five of them! Eventually my charm and rifle skills wore them down, and an abashed Duboshin stood trembling in front of me, like Aphrodite rising from a sea of blood. She had, it appeared, been in cahoots with these thugs to split the shipment, and disappear. Why they had to fight me to effect this is not entirely clear. But then, I don’t get paid to understand cases, I get paid to crack them!
Anyway, Duboshin meekly follows me, giving me a health boost as we start off. The little slut suck-up! She wound up improbably in Zion’s hands (I guess they are trying to improve the lives of redpills everywhere with better fashion) at an extraction station. I could see the truce in action here; one Zionist joked about me needing a password, assuring me that she had been “just kidding”. Duboshin was understandably glum. And that was it. All this, for a purse…
Conclusion: Major mysteries are being woven here. Why does the Seamstress have the time of day for Zion? Why would Exiles care at all about accessories, especially purses (perhaps this is an intended gift for Persephone)? Why does Zion care about her? How come I couldn’t keep the purse, to better accommodate my own inventory? Why, oh why?
4. Eye of the Needle
Seamstress has caught wind of the location of her last lost shipment, and wants it back right now, before it profits anyone else. The last operative she ent, Porpoise, disappeared, and she sends you to follow in her footsteps, adding, “Oh, and help Porpoise if she’s still alive, I suppose”. Alas, she is not, as you discover in a gunfight. As I contemplated her fallen form, wondering where my own path would take me, the phone rang. “Do you feel safe? Search the computer now”. The screen softly glowed, “Seek and ye shall find”. I took and uploaded the map disk, and the final location was relayed to me. Very eerie, this was.
This led me to a scenic apartment, wherein waited a couple of drunks and elite guards, all thrilled to see me. They referred to a mysterious second force as I stepped off the elevator. It was the mysterious voice from earlier in the mish. He appeared and thanked me for getting the package for him. Needless to say, I had to kill him too, though he put up a tough fight and did not use his invisibility once, contrary to what you might have expected.
But all bad things must end, and soon I was dropping off the purloined package with a stunned recipient, and counting crisp info-notes from a frowning Seamstress, who reluctantly thanked me and contemplated inviting me to the fashion show soon to be dominated by her designs. But, she quickly corrected herself, “I’d have you get you something decent to wear”. Please! I only dress like this for professional occasions! Give me a chance! But her mind was already whirling elsewhere.
5. The Show Must Go On
This is getting ridiculous! It’s the day of a fashion show, and Seamstress’s designs have been ripped off yet again! Naturally time is more of the essence than usual here. Seamstress sent me to a cool CEO who demanded that I kill all the thieves, not sparing a single one. She was quite adamant about this. After talking to her, be sure to check out the other, adjacent rooms; in one I found a Zionist Rifleman being directed through movements by two fashion-show workers!! He must have been prepping for the next sexiest redpill contest. I soon found myself fighting five or six or seven elite guards for control of an apartment, in which I found not package with the designs, but a packet of plans!
Bugged: Alas, dear readers, this mission was bugged, and I was only able to get beyond after
many efforts. Here’s what happened. On the building floor housing the thieves, you find three elite guards in one room, a couple of lupines in another, and a final lupine in a third. I killed all three elite guards in the room, but soon after I left, when I came back, there were only two bodies. I did not notice any such discrepancy with the other rooms o’ thieves. This was repeatable. I’m guessing this has something to do with the thieves not showing as having been all killed. Nonetheless, I took the packet and uploaded it, but could not get to the next stage of the mish. The “Kill all thieves” box remained unchecked. I went back to the mission area: no thieves there. I hung around, I danced, I stood and afked…nothing. Maybe in the next patch.
That’s where things were for days and days. Then I tried again, and found that if I killed all three of the elite guards in the same room, this section of the mish completed and I could move on. After uploading the plans, I found myself confronting the tough CEO I has seen earlier. Only her goals had changed in the meantime. And soon I had found another instance of the same bug: everyone around me dead on the floor, yet the mish demanded more. It was enough. I took the package, dropped it in front of the Seamstress, and left. “This one’s on the house,” I said, changing out of my killing clothes, and back into something more human.
Conclusion: Some humorous touches to this group of missions gave them special pleasure to run. At the same time, the improbability of rough-and-tumble Exiles fighting so hard for purses and accessories makes one gasp. Perhaps if there had been a hint of someone else showing interest in the outcome, such as the Weaver or Persephone or Hummingbird, this might make more sense. Or if the clothes had some special buffs or special background, then the frenzy might not seem so odd. Still, they’re worth doing. And the last mission is worth debugging!
